Softball Tournament: Donuts & Darden
Lee Shufro '00
Issue date: 5/3/00 Section: Sports
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On April 6, sixteen members of the JGSM community went down to Charlottesville, Virginia to represent Cornell University at the MBA Softball Tournament. Other schools that attended were Duke, Michigan State, Illinois and Tennessee just to name a few. While other schools may have set their goals high, Cornell had a simple one for their players: "Hit A Homerun! - Either on the field or off, it really doesn't matter."
The first sign of trouble was after we received the schedule and we got to see whom we would face on the diamond. To our chagrin, we discovered that we had to play the Darden All-Stars, the Darden Champions, the All Ringer Darden Alumni Team, and the Darden Slammers.
Next, we had to play at a field that was worse than Wrigley Field with the wind blowing out. This field was about 170 ft. to straightaway center field with a 40mph wind. Suffice to say, our poor pitcher (yours truly) developed a severe case of whiplash (see above ERA).
But when I come to think about it, playing softball was a small, almost insignificant part of the weekend. Lets get back to the donuts. I mean, have you ever had a Krispy Kreme donut? Can you believe I never had one before I went down? I've had my share of Duncan Donuts but boy were these suckers good. And did I mention that Krispy Kreme was right next to our hotel? That means that the hotel served these wonderful, glorious concoctions of dough and sugar every morning. It also meant that each night these drunken softball players returned to their hotel, they imbibed on those devilish treats.
Then when we went to the softball park in the morning, they had dozens and dozens of our orgasmic pastries ready for us. My favorite donut highlight of the weekend occurred during a rain delay when Dave Reich bet Kenner $20 that he couldn't eat 3 KK donuts in 1 minute. Once Doug swallowed the first donut whole, it seemed as if the entire softball contingent was rooting him on. Unfortunately, Kenner was unable to cash in (either on the field or off).
Even though we didn't exactly distinguish ourselves on the diamond, we certainly made our mark socially. Like a giant Grizzly Bear that is awakened from its winter-long hibernation, we hit the bars with a vengeance. Now I know what it was like when the allies stormed Normandy. Each night we were given free beer and food (all night). Were our hosts crazy?
This power mixture of free beer, food and donuts fueled our team. Each and every JGSM'er was at his best. Don Douglas led the team with an amazing exhibition of beer pitcher guzzling (a local SWAT team was put on alert when they found out he was in town). Shots were flowing. Beer was consumed. Local women ran for the exits. Ohh, I gotta tell you a great story. Sorry, but what happens on the road, stays on the road. However, I can give you a tip.....Buy Krispy Kreme!