The Honest Shake
Jesse Goichman `02
Issue date: 4/27/01 Section: Humor
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Having just finished up the third “quarter” of our first year, the deadly duo found themselves with a little extra time on their hands. The big question was: what do two first-year investment banking immersion students do when they actually find a little down time? Let’s first give you a little background: we had two final papers due within the previous 24 hours and Spring Break was less than a week away. Bottom line, we were looking for a very productive way to spend a few hours. The “real options,” as it turned out, were: (1) Prepare for the next day’s Intermediate Accounting class (neither of us set the world on fire on the midterm, so this would be time well spent). Or, (2) find another way to be extremely productive…like cruise Collegetown to determine who makes the best milkshake this side of Boonsville. Accounting analysis or milkshake analysis? We’ll take Collegetown milkshakes for $1000, Alex.
We hit “The Street,” patronizing every place we felt had “shake potential.” In our thriving little metropolis nestled between Dryden and College Ave., we found only 5 comparables. These fine establishments were The Greek House, Jasmine’s, Smoothie Hut, Dino’s and Wendy’s. We knew the stakes were high and we wanted justice to be served. It was decided that the older, wiser, more experienced and refined palliated veteran (Doug, of course) would establish the rules of engagement: (1) Blind taste testing (2) A uniform flavor – vanilla, and (3) None of the players should be made aware of the competition to ensure an “honest shake.”
Doug made the first purchase: a Jasmine’s 16 oz. vanilla for $3.50. Smoothie Hut was next at $3.99– Jesse was all over the ‘Yogurt’ Shake – women! Stella’s was a big let down with 843 flavors of coffee and not one %&*^’n milkshake. The Greek House brought us their 20 oz. standard at a modest $2.75. Not that size matters, but we were impressed with the 4 extra ounces. At Wendy’s, Jesse disastrously requested a break from the second rule of engagement and went with chocolate. We had, after all, broken the blind tasting rule; you try to get a shake home without tasting it! Halfway through the potentials and we were starting to feel rather bloated; it was time for some chocolate – thanks Jesse. Dino’s brought theirs in a glass with some extra still in the steel-mixing cup: Diner Style, very classy.
In summary, it is the formal recommendation of this committee, after strenuous analysis, including a lengthy comparable search in other markets, that The Greek House gets a “Strong Buy.” And, no, we don’t get a spread. Now onto intermediate…beer tasting.
Editors Note: Neither Jesse nor Doug is sponsored by any of the establishments mentioned above. Neither owns equity in these firms or its competitors and unfortunately, neither will be spending their summer internship in upstate New York’s version of “The Street.”
We hit “The Street,” patronizing every place we felt had “shake potential.” In our thriving little metropolis nestled between Dryden and College Ave., we found only 5 comparables. These fine establishments were The Greek House, Jasmine’s, Smoothie Hut, Dino’s and Wendy’s. We knew the stakes were high and we wanted justice to be served. It was decided that the older, wiser, more experienced and refined palliated veteran (Doug, of course) would establish the rules of engagement: (1) Blind taste testing (2) A uniform flavor – vanilla, and (3) None of the players should be made aware of the competition to ensure an “honest shake.”
Doug made the first purchase: a Jasmine’s 16 oz. vanilla for $3.50. Smoothie Hut was next at $3.99– Jesse was all over the ‘Yogurt’ Shake – women! Stella’s was a big let down with 843 flavors of coffee and not one %&*^’n milkshake. The Greek House brought us their 20 oz. standard at a modest $2.75. Not that size matters, but we were impressed with the 4 extra ounces. At Wendy’s, Jesse disastrously requested a break from the second rule of engagement and went with chocolate. We had, after all, broken the blind tasting rule; you try to get a shake home without tasting it! Halfway through the potentials and we were starting to feel rather bloated; it was time for some chocolate – thanks Jesse. Dino’s brought theirs in a glass with some extra still in the steel-mixing cup: Diner Style, very classy.
In summary, it is the formal recommendation of this committee, after strenuous analysis, including a lengthy comparable search in other markets, that The Greek House gets a “Strong Buy.” And, no, we don’t get a spread. Now onto intermediate…beer tasting.
Editors Note: Neither Jesse nor Doug is sponsored by any of the establishments mentioned above. Neither owns equity in these firms or its competitors and unfortunately, neither will be spending their summer internship in upstate New York’s version of “The Street.”