JGSM Page Six
Tyler Nevius, MBA ‘07
Issue date: 9/14/05 Section: Johnson News
- Page 1 of 1
As part of your education and/or amusement, we have decided to offer a guerilla update on various JGSM events. Hopefully I will be able to loquaciously expose the soft underbelly of Cornell's MBA program. Since we have gladly noted that the 1st and 2nd years have been "gelling" really well, we thought it would be a good idea to re-cap some of the more notable events of the last three weeks.
A quick reminder to all of you who haven't set up your outlook yet: build a rule so everything from a certain rugby player goes in the 'Aggressive' folder. GO TO DINO'S!! OR I"LL EAT YOU!!!
Now that we have gotten that administrative stuff out of the way, let's get to the meat of this month's column. Some people have asked about proper etiquette for scenting oneself. Well, curious people, I will tell you. It is inappropriate, when seated in a full lecture room for over an hour, to wear too much or too little scent. There are people who are hypoallergenic to perfumes, so it is more than rude to gas them with a chemical vapor. Conversely, it is poor form to let your pheromones run wild in other peoples' olfactory glands. If people want an extra dose of alpha androstane, they can buy some truffles. If one is unsure about using too little or too much scent, ask a friend or group member. Better to understand how personal odoriferous emanations affect others before entering a closed interview room with little or no ventilation.
News Bulletin:
-During the Johnson Outdoor Experience, an unidentified, unsuspecting female second year was attacked by a male first year in front of a large group of people. Apparently the first year, angered by second year's inability to dance, pushed her over a fan and onto a large pile of soda cans. Realizing the mistake he made, the first year smoothed over the situation by hugging on the second year and petting her hair. When other second years were asked to comment on the event, the overwhelming response was that "she does it all the time."
-Two overzealous first years injured a CU freshman girl when they mistakenly thought she asked them to dance. A witness stated that the men tried to dance with her using "hip gyrating, Michael Jacksonesque" techniques. The young lady is now in stable condition at Gannett Health Center, diagnosed with bad dance whiplash. The two offenders are still confident they can get her number.
-12 couches, two beds, 10 bookstands, and 112 textbooks have been sold via 12,355 emails sent by eight people.
-To all second years with questions concerning directions to major cities in the Northeast: there is a new invention called the Internet. Use it to visit www.mapquest.com for any guidance. This new-fangled contraption can also help you locate Syracuse.
1st years, good luck with midterms!
A quick reminder to all of you who haven't set up your outlook yet: build a rule so everything from a certain rugby player goes in the 'Aggressive' folder. GO TO DINO'S!! OR I"LL EAT YOU!!!
Now that we have gotten that administrative stuff out of the way, let's get to the meat of this month's column. Some people have asked about proper etiquette for scenting oneself. Well, curious people, I will tell you. It is inappropriate, when seated in a full lecture room for over an hour, to wear too much or too little scent. There are people who are hypoallergenic to perfumes, so it is more than rude to gas them with a chemical vapor. Conversely, it is poor form to let your pheromones run wild in other peoples' olfactory glands. If people want an extra dose of alpha androstane, they can buy some truffles. If one is unsure about using too little or too much scent, ask a friend or group member. Better to understand how personal odoriferous emanations affect others before entering a closed interview room with little or no ventilation.
News Bulletin:
-During the Johnson Outdoor Experience, an unidentified, unsuspecting female second year was attacked by a male first year in front of a large group of people. Apparently the first year, angered by second year's inability to dance, pushed her over a fan and onto a large pile of soda cans. Realizing the mistake he made, the first year smoothed over the situation by hugging on the second year and petting her hair. When other second years were asked to comment on the event, the overwhelming response was that "she does it all the time."
-Two overzealous first years injured a CU freshman girl when they mistakenly thought she asked them to dance. A witness stated that the men tried to dance with her using "hip gyrating, Michael Jacksonesque" techniques. The young lady is now in stable condition at Gannett Health Center, diagnosed with bad dance whiplash. The two offenders are still confident they can get her number.
-12 couches, two beds, 10 bookstands, and 112 textbooks have been sold via 12,355 emails sent by eight people.
-To all second years with questions concerning directions to major cities in the Northeast: there is a new invention called the Internet. Use it to visit www.mapquest.com for any guidance. This new-fangled contraption can also help you locate Syracuse.
1st years, good luck with midterms!